Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I love Wednesdays

When I was younger you would never have caught me enjoying a lazy day at home. I there was always something to do or I was rushing off to someplace. At one point in my youth (I was 18) I was working three jobs just to stay busy. Now that I'm older and have my little munchkins to look after I want nothing more than to spend the day just relaxing with them at the house. Don't get me wrong I still like to go and do things with my little ones but I work so dang much at the moment just to get the pleasure of watching them play at home is a luxury for me. That's why I love Wednesdays. It is my one day off during the week that I try not to schedule anything to do and usually let the chores slide for the day. I let the kids sleep in and let my son watch all his favorite cartoons. They get to make a mess and I don't make a fuss. It's just a wonderful opportunity for them to be kids and for me to get to observe them without the stresses of work or household responsibilities to be in the back of my mind.

It's days like this that my longing to be able to stay home with them permanently is felt most intensely because as much as the days bring me joy they are tempered with sadness in the knowledge that it ends.

It is such an unusual feeling for me because after my son was born I went back to work without much issue and worked long hours, holidays and weekends just as I do now. I think that the urge to stay home started to enter into my unconscious when my son turned three. Now that he is old enough to really communicate with me and his personality is really starting to develop I want to be the one that molds him into the wonderful young man that I know he will be one day. I can't do that working 50+ hours a week. So this thought coupled with the fact that I have grown weary of the retail world (I've worked retail on and off since I was 15) has driven my desire to be a sahm.

However, money is always a factor in these decisions and until I can financial leave my job I will continue to look forward to my mid-week escape into the eyes of my children.


2 comments:

Denise said...

I really hope your able to quit your job and stay home soon. And enjoy your wednesdays together with the kiddies...you totally deserve it!

hippos toes said...

awww....Jessica, I hope that you are able to stay home with you little guy soon. I know what you mean. We tried for 5 years to have our son and I KNOW how blessed I am to be home with him.